5 Reasons your on-again-off-again relationship isn't working

We have all been in relationships that are not fulfilling but for some reason we hold on to them. We hold on for many different reasons but let's touch on some common ones.

Low Self-esteem

Loving yourself speaks volumes to others and sets the tone for them to love you no less than you love yourself. Confidence is attractive but loving yourself means so much more. Whether we realize it or not our self-esteem is established over a time period in our lives. For example, having a traumatic childhood can cause a damaged adult or being in a cycle of toxic relationships can really do a number on a person. Get to the root of the problem and address it so you can be a healthier you.

Investment of time, energy, and money is the only reason you stay!

Many relationships become what I call, "coasting relationships," a relationship that has so much tied up in it whether it's property, businesses, or kids people get content and stop trying. Many allow these things to hold them back from walking away due to the fear of the outcome. It's hard for many to get out of their comfort zone. These are self-defeating relationship patterns that must be broken in order for one to reach their full potential and happiness in life. The famous saying, "It's cheaper to keep her," applies here! Don't stay for the wrong reasons.

This is a big one, FEAR of being alone

It's only natural for us to want that connection as humans but that doesn't mean cling to someone to feel complete or happiness. Remember, it's no one else's job to make you happy. Happiness has to come from within you, never depend on someone else to define your mood, thoughts, feelings, or actions. That type of power is scary and when people know they have that type of control over you they can use it to their advantage. It's okay to be alone and connect with yourself, don't allow others to run all over you because you "think" you NEED them, that's simply not the case. You are enough!

You can't own up to the part you played in the relationship

The sooner we can all realize we play a part, the sooner we will all be on our way to healthier relationship patterns. Some play a bigger part than others but do yourself a favor and get out of denial. No two people are the same so no matter how perfect that person may seem during the "honeymoon" phase, you will have disagreement but arguments can be healthy. Adjustments and change could be good here, well if you want your relationship to actually work. Compromise is the key!

Don't be afraid to "Get Help"

Whether it's one on one or couples counseling. Don't be afraid to ask for help. It's okay that you don't have all the answers but guidance and coping skills would be helpful right? Don't let this be your last resort, start early in your relationship, counseling is completely normal so check on your mental and emotional health. Do not let society discourage you from something WE all need at some point in our lives. Life can be tough after all. So often we use our energy for the negative, why not use it to better yourself?!

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